Parents, Youth, & Purpose
Establishing Relationships With The Opposite Sex

Young man, what type of girl do you like to be with? Young lady, what type of young man would you like to be with? What do you look for 'when considering a friendship with the opposite sex?' What are you really looking for?

When you 'see a young lady you admire,' what is it about her do you really admire. When you see a young man 'you admire,' what are the traits that you look for in order to 'grant him his approval?' Do you inwardly name 'admirable traits' such as: "He makes me laugh". "He respects me." "She listens to me." "We have fun together." Are these a part of your 'traits?'

Have you ever considered a relationship based on the criteria concerning your purpose? Do you base your relationships on what you know about yourself? Or, do you base your relationships 'on the way you feel?' Do you consider your uniqueness when 'establishing a relationship?'

Parental Keys of Wisdom

Parents, this is 'not so serious' where your kids are concerned. Your children knowing their purpose and unique position 'is not a knowledge that should wait until their grown.' By understanding that they are 'sons of God,' this should provide the catalyst in establishing relationships.

There are many young people 'who may even belong to certain ministries' that still establish relationships with individuals 'who have no certain depth of life, God, or their own unique position.' As parents, we should not say to ourselves, "Gee, the kids are young. Whose going to be thinking about purpose at 14?"

Well, it's not up to them to 'think about it on their own.' That 'was our job to do right after they were born!' This kingdom orientation 'will produce the discipline, the skill, and the discernment once true belief has been established.'

We, as parents, must become confident in this Way of life. We can no longer

Young man, young lady. Your relationships are to be determined 'not by how much fun you should have as a child.' You have an entire lifetime of pleasure and enjoyment. Your relationships, as they pertain to dating, emotional commitment, and even 'going steady,' should be determined by your purpose, and not by your own 'feelings of maturity.'

You do not want to 'learn the power of true relationships' with someone 'that does not fit the criteria of your birth assignment.' In other words, if there is someone who is showing no interest in God, effective goal setting and inner discipline and vision, then don't 'establish a relationship with him because he's cute and makes you laugh!' Do not commit to anything 'that can be the ingredients for emotional pain in the future.' Do not allow 'the cuteness of a young man' or the 'shape of young woman' to be the determining factor of your decisions.

Purpose is not 'a subject that is too mature for youth.' As a matter of fact, they have more of a connection with it than most adults. Youth are passionate, driven, spontaneous. These are all qualities of inner vision, and purposeful enthusiasm. It is their 'fuel of navigation, and the compass in their journey of discovery.' But because most youth are more 'church religion oriented' than 'kingdom purpose oriented', this powerful potential goes unrealized and confused with other things in life.

When young people become ignited in their Kingdom life because 'of personal discovery of their purposes in God,' it will outlast the boredom and struggles that come with them trying to focus 'merely because they are saved and obligated to.' What I mean by this is that most youth do things 'because they are obligated to, not because they have the passion for it, or see the need for it.' Most have yet to develop a passion for Life outside of religious influence.

When this happens, their relationships will become religiously based as well. They will find themselves being 'good girls that date bad boys.' Or, they will become 'good boys that date bad girls.' They are 'good because they are obligated to be good to the church, and to their parents.' But their 'heart' says to 'date what they are drawn to,' and usually, they will seek to 'give the undisciplined relationship some sort of spiritual make-over in order for it to look good to the parent, and to the church.' This is not the foundation of Truth.

Accept the challenge that comes with 'recreating a Kingdomic environment for the home.' This simply means that the creativity, leisure, functionality, and lifestyles of the home 'are the result of a powerful, Kingdom dimension.' Embrace the challenge that comes with redefining the foundational structures of the home, from which the standards of destiny and Significant purpose are initiated and maximized. Many do not have the patience, nor the heart, to endure Significant transitions in the home, especially after being married a certain number of years, or having children that have reached certain ages. It's hard for some families to overcome their own established 'nature of habit,' after having embraced a particular 'family identity for a certain number of years.'

Truth 'disrupts family identities in every facet of life.' It disrupts established cultural, religious, and behavioral patterns of the home.' Many families do not endure the perfecting process of Truth because certain patterns 'have settled themselves as an anchor in the heart of the family.' Thus, causing an inconsistent development of growth and application. uf~

What To Look For?

1. Become established in your unique, God ordained destiny and purpose. This is 'who you are' and not merely 'the things you do.' Become established in the type of person you were created to be. This will determine the motivations of all of your relationships.
2. Be confident. Do not be afraid at being different or thinking different.
3. Be discerning of the goals and motivations of others. Know that 'great relationships are the result of great purpose.' Don't be afraid to consider this.
4. What are the dreams of others that desire to 'date or be friends with you?' What are their desired visions, goals, and aspirations?
5. Do other individuals 'intimidate you?' Do your 'peers' intimidate you for being 'different?' Are you trying to 'accommodate' your 'friends' more than they respect the Significant Life you possess?
6. Are you 'drawn to the purposes of other friends?' Has another peers 'uniqueness' even inspired you?
7. What do you notice about a person first? Their 'look?' Or, their uniqueness? (I know this sounds like a trick question "smile.")